Monday, July 13, 2015

Brain Torture

People may not know that I suffer from extreme anxiety. I worry about things that others may never think of. "What if?" plays through my mind a thousand times per day.

The simplest text message or email to/from others takes me a lot of time and effort to process. I might spend an entire hour trying to find the perfect words to put into one thank-you note.

If my brain had an "off" switch, it would be used often. My thoughts never slow down. The worrying never ends. I refer to most conflicts as "brain torture". A constant, internal battle that never seems to stop. Most days my thoughts suffocate me.

I tell myself often to breathe. Breathe deeply and more than once. I tell myself not to worry. That worrying takes the strength out of the day. There is only one problem. That "off" switch doesn't exist.

I like to think about the good in everything. While my thoughts can be torture, I have the ability to analyze situations to the fullest extent. I would make a wonderful investigator! ;-) God gave me the gift of observation. The trouble is finding the balance.

The balance between "brain torture" and accurate observations.

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